Danged Technology…

I’m not into the whole idea of ever changing technology. It’s not that I don’t or can’t understand it, I just don’t like it. It seems like when I finally get comfortable with something, they change it and I have to relearn everything.

When it comes to cell phones, I’m probably worse. My cell phone was just shy of 3 years old and the only reason I finally caved to a new one was because my old one broke beyond repair.

I feel like I’m the only 27 year old who watches those commercials featuring the cell phones designed for senior citizens (I.E. the Jitterbug with the huge number buttons, the big green ‘send’ button, the big red ‘end/power button’, and NO camera) and exclaim, ‘I want one of those!’.

I went to the cell phone store and spent the required 14 hours there. I’m pretty sure you could take a Greyhound bus across country, stop for a few days in Graceland, and return, all before I even got to the front of the line.

They suggested several phone options, pointing out the extras on each such as MP3 players, camera phones, and video capabilities. The problem is, I’m not one of those people who pull out their cell phone, watch a u-tube video of flatulent monkeys, while listening to Mariah Carey on the MP3 player, while taking a picture of my friends, while talking to my mother on speaker phone, while texting my brother.

Heck, I didn’t even send my very first text message until a few months ago. It was just easier to throw the phone at my brothers and say, “Dude, can you reply to this?”

Then, when I finally figured out this whole stupid texting thing, I couldn’t speak the language… and trust me… it’s a language. I’m probably the only person who actually writes, ‘I’ll see you later’ with the apostrophe or for that matter, more than 5 letters. When a friend sent a message saying, ‘C U L8R’, I had to Google it to figure out what the heck she meant.

Forget the Spanish to English dictionaries, I’m going to compile a Texting to English dictionary and make millions off people like me.

I ended up with one of those RAZR phones – what, is using an ‘E’ so last year? Oh wait. It’s probably more texting language that I don’t get. Anyway, I tossed it into my purse and left forgetting, of course, that they have the phones set on default rings and volumes. I’m in the back corner of Target enjoying the silence when a sound straight from the ‘Gentleman’s Club - Pure Platinum’ screeches from my purse at decibels audible from space.

Because that’s not embarrassing.

Then, because everyone in the world knows one of the most annoying sounds is someone changing their ring tone, I had to leave the ‘stripper’ tunes on my phone until I could get home.

Thank you Colegate for calling three times.

I finally did get home and for the very first time, assigned custom ring tones.

For you Cole, Hells Bells by AC/DC.

The only problem is, sometimes, I’d rather hear Hells Bells than Colegate or Kashmir by Led Zeppelin than Chris so if I don’t answer your call….

It’s because I’m dancing.