Thursday, April 26, 2007

Oh don't even get me started...

Sorry so quiet as of late. Busy.

Chris and I had to stop by the house we are buying – herein after to be known as the ‘Ugly Brown House’ – to meet the appraiser Monday. The homeowner let us in and we stood uncomfortably at the door while the appraiser looked around.

When the lady wasn’t looking, I peaked into the living room… my heart stopped.

It was just as cluttered and messy as the day we first saw it a month ago.

They’ve got two weeks to get out and they haven’t packed a thing? Geez! Chris and I had a month to pack our 650 Sq. Ft. apartment and it was a struggle!

And that’s when it all went down…

‘Hey I wanted to ask you guys something. Are you in a bind where you are at or do you have some leeway?’ the homeowner asked.

Chris smiled and said, ‘No, we aren’t in a bind. We’re living with her parents. Why?’

‘Well, we need a few more days or so and were wondering if that would be a problem.’

‘Sure, shouldn’t be a problem at all!’ Chris said enthusiastically.

I mentally kicked him hard in the ankle. Man I wish I was telekinetic!

Just what I want. Renters.

She continued, ‘We looked to rent a place for a month or two until I get my job straightened out (mentally I was thinking… code words for ‘unemployed’) but they want us to sign a six month lease. Of course we won’t tell them we’ll only be there a month or two’

Yeah. And I’m sure you are being so truthful with us now about the whole ‘few days or so’ bit. Just how LONG is ‘so’?

After I had a short but to the point ‘conversation’ (think, code word for ‘ripping him a new one’) with Christopher after we escaped to the car, he quickly called our Realtor and told him we needed the house on the 10th… no later.

Now the homeowners are off to Vegas for the week. With less than two weeks to get out. Yes. I can tell they are really planning on leaving.

Bloody shortsales!! (Sorry, I’m listening to a 14 hour book on CD and the lady has a British accent. I find myself saying, ‘Chap’, ‘flick’, ‘flat’, ‘bloody’, and ‘boot’ far more than necessary.)

I am envious of Nicole who got to buy a house from a dead person. Her biggest hassle was removing a corpse.

I’m tellin’ ya – she had a walk in the park! The lady was old, small, and partially decomposing! All she needed was a hefty bag and a swiffer sweeper!

I will be there. On the 10th. Ready to raise hell.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Great… now I’m notorious…

Chris’ little sister is making potholders and selling them. Chris had ordered a few so she had e-mailed him to ask what colors he would like. Here is an exact copy of her e-mail:

Hi Christopher Robin,
The colors are pink, purple, and white, blue, green; also there are colors together, like pink, red, and white, and blue, soft pink purple white, orange and yellow. Talk it over with Rebecca. By the way what are you going to use the pot holders for? You or Rebecca don’t cook, usually it is Rebecca’s mom that does it.
Talk to you later brother

Your sister Rose

I think I might have to smack her.

Umm. Excuse me. I’d like to return these potholders please.

And no, my name is not spelled correctly. I've only been in the family for 4 years now. Give them some time.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Death… taxes… and tax day

They say there are only two things certain in life… death & taxes. How sad that at times… taxes make you wish for death – unless you are Lizzie or Colegate and you don’t have to pay. Oh, or my mom and John-E.

I don’t like any of you right now.

I got in my car to take my tax payments to the post office yesterday morning and the check engine light flashed at me brightly.

2 years young, a mere 35,000 miles and the light decides to come on!??!


The day before Tax Day?!?!

Stupid car.

Is there some sort of planetary alignment causing bad luck I didn’t see in the paper?

Broken or not, I was driving the trash heap to the post office.

I stood in line with the 15,000 or so other customers waiting to pay their taxes. I finally made my way to the front. The postal employee who was WAY too chipper this close to tax time. He looked down at my envelopes and smiled.

‘Had to pay this year huh? Aww. It’s OK darlin’, better luck next year.’

Thank you IRS for creating two addresses. One for payments and one for those lucky enough to get money back. Now everyone can see I had to PAY this year.

I thought about going ‘Postal’ on the Postal employee. How ironic would that have been? I can hear the newscasters now:

‘A middle aged woman had to be forcefully removed from the El Cajon post office today. Postal representatives are not sure what caused the outburst but the woman was heard screaming ‘car parts’, ‘taxes’, and ‘don’t call me DARLIN’’ strung together with profanity.’

And yes, with the type of day it was, the news WOULD have called me middle aged.

I didn’t have time to call the dealer so I checked the manual before driving home. The ‘Check Engine’ light has several meanings… all of which end with, ‘Do not drive at high speeds or up steep inclines while the check engine light is illuminated. Warning chimes and a flashing check engine light may alert you to pull off the road immediately.’

Since my car is still fully covered under its bumper to bumper warrantee, I took the steep Tavern grade at nearly 90.

Oh come on, you would have wanted to see what would have happened too.

The only ‘warning chimes or flashing lights’ I was likely to see were from the California Highway Patrol. The car took it like a champ. How disappointing.

Not to jinx anything, but we may be moving into our new place by May 10th.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Flashback Friday!

Journal entry from August 9th, 2005:

I was driving a co-worker to a jobsite and we were discussing what everyone talks about with people they don’t know – the weather. After we ran out of, ‘Sure is a nice day today’s’ we sat in silence and he stared at my dashboard. He started counting - 1, 2, 3, 4. Hoping he didn’t have some weird OCD (LIKE NICOLE!!), I asked him what on earth he was counting.

‘Airbags. 6! What on earth do you need 6 airbags for?’ he asked.

‘Actually there are 8. You missed the two behind you.’ I laughed.

I told him that in the event of a collision, my car would look more like a floatation device than crumpled metal. He gave me a funny look and stared out the window. Awkward silence again.

This prompted him to tell me he had been rear-ended 5 times. He claimed that anyone who rear-ended someone should have his or her license taken away for being a poor driver. I disagreed which made him ask the question that made me cringe, ‘What? Let me guess, you’ve rear-ended someone?’ I moved around uncomfortably in my seat before saying, ‘Only because I missed the person I was aiming for.’

He looked at me with a sense of fear, dread, and an amazing awareness of where all the door handles were.

That’s when my phone rang and we arrived at the jobsite. I never got to explain myself but the more I thought about it…my explanation isn’t that great anyway.

He didn’t necessarily ‘get out’ of my car, it was more like a retreat – walking backwards…slowly.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

When the goin’ gets tough… the tough get writing…

I’ve been quiet as of late thanks to the silly History course I’m taking. I have a paper due today so I figured I’d start reading for it… yesterday. At least I’m not starting on the day its due! Never mind the fact it was assigned two weeks ago.

I hate dedicating my lunch hours to education. I’d rather let my mind turn to soup as I play several hundred games of Solitaire.

Chris is working another 10 ½ hour strenuous day today. 4 weeks of this has made him a muddled stressed out mess. At night I make dinner (Microwave. High. 5 minutes), clean (fill the cups and bowls with water and set them the sink) and tell him how sorry I am that his days are rough. I tell him how much I want this to be over so he can stop stressing. Yet, secretly before falling asleep, I pray ‘Please, Please, Pleeeeeaaaase God can he stay out there longer!?!?!’

Prevailing wage has taken me to a new moral low.

Please don’t blame me. I want spending money for Kauai.

Speaking of that darling husband of mine, we were at church on Sunday and while we were looking through the bulletin we both stumbled across a pamphlet for a Married Couples Retreat. I read through the description of the seminars and thought it would be a great time to reflect on our marriage, find ways to make it better, and make Jesus a bigger part of our lives together. Chris leaned over and whispered, ‘Honey I really think we should go to this’. I was warmed by the thought that my husband wanted the same spiritual renewal from this retreat… until he continued, ‘Did you see the 60 foot pool slide? I wonder when the earliest tee time is? Could you call on that?’

He’s lucky we were in church.

I feel no guilt about my earlier prayers.

Congrats to Lindsey on a beautiful baby shower and a giant thanks to Jesus for giving his life for us.

Monday, April 9, 2007


Once again... I'll update later but here are the picts.

Lindsey's Baby Shower

We went to Lindsey's Baby Shower this weekend. I'll update later but here are the picts.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Flashback Friday!

I used to keep a journal a couple years ago and here is a flashback from January 12, 2005 - a few short months after saying ‘I Do’:

I’m finding that in my world as a domestic goddess, I learn new things all the time. Take this weekend for example. I was cleaning our filthy apartment from top to bottom when I noticed our bathroom rug had nearly grown legs. In my college days I used to throw the bathroom rug away when it was dirty and buy another. It was an easy way to change things up…and not have to put out too much effort into cleaning. I decided that throwing away a perfectly good dirty rug was perhaps not showing fiscal prudence so I threw it into my hamper.

I had washed all my clothes and the rug was still staring at me, half legs and all. I wasn’t about to wash that sort of nastiness with anything I wore.

My problem with the rug was that it wasn’t very big. It would certainly be an immense waste of water to wash it by itself so I looked at what was left and decided to throw it in with our sheets and some white gym towels. No harm in that right?

Did I happen to mention that the rug was red?

In my intense concentration of getting darn thing washed, I forgot the cardinal rule of laundry, no darks with lights. I am now the proud owner of pinky brown sheets and gorgeous pink gym towels. I started to pull the mess out of the washer and smacked my head in stupidity.

Thinking the situation could not get worse, I threw everything in the dryer.

Never think things can’t get worse.

The dryer buzzed 60 minutes later…little did I know the buzz was a gong to my idiocy. I opened the door and was greeted by the smell of burning rubber.

Did you know that after 60 minutes on high heat, rugs become extremely malleable and begin to melt? So now, not only do I have pinky tan sheets and pink gym towels, I have pinky tan sheets and pink gym towels with a rubberized glaze. It almost sounds as if I’m describing a Thanksgiving ham doesn’t it?

Doesn’t smell nearly as nice… Trust Me!

My moral of this story…don’t wash… BUY NEW ONES!!

I totally had it right in college.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Did I just SKIP to work?!!??!

I’ve been keeping quiet about the whole ‘house’ thing because it seems like every time I say things are going my way, I jinx it.

The idea of actually OWNING a house is kinda like the coming of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. You know they are eventually going to get here…it just never feels like anytime soon.

The news?

We accepted the counter offer yesterday.

The problem?

We kinda low balled them and the counter offer was only 5K more than our original offer which makes me wonder…


The offer still has to be approved through the bank (yes another bank owned property) so there is still some rough road ahead of us.

I called mom to tell her the news. She told me she was excited for us and casually mentioned, ‘Hey, um, Beks, I was walking through your room this morning and heard someone leaving a message on your phone machine. Something about Kauai? Are you going to Kauai?’

Now let me explain something. Chris has been working at a prevailing wage job and he’s making more than twice his normal salary. We decided to set that money aside and take a trip to Kauai.

How do you explain to your mother, who you’ve been sucking off of for nearly a year under the guise of ‘poverty stricken newlyweds’, that you’re taking a rather expensive trip to the islands?

‘Oh those’ I responded, ‘Just doing some research for John-E-Boy’s honeymoon. Trying to be a good sister and get him a good deal.’

Now, I’m not sure what story I’ll come up with for when I ask her to dog-sit while we soak up some relaxing sunshine, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.


Monday, April 2, 2007

The frustration continues…

We FINALLY heard back from the bank that owns the house we put an offer on… they didn’t choose us. They didn’t even have the courtesy to counteroffer or at least call to say ‘Sorry, someone has more money than you. Ha Ha!’

Back to square one… again… and again…and again...

We looked this weekend and surprisingly found two winners – well – two fixer-uppers that aren’t THAT bad. Rather than put all our eggs in one basket, we decided to offer on both – fastest to respond wins. By 9:30 this morning, things were already off to a rough start. One of the houses sold yesterday, they just hadn’t found the time to update the listing yet. The other was in escrow before but fell out when the bank (yes, another bank owned property) refused to come down on the price. Will that be our same fate? Who knows.

I’m a little frustrated… and a little down.

A day late and a dollar short!

Happy 37th Mom and Dad!

You are both totally amazing!