Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Ahhhh Valentine’s Day…

I made Chris a memory photo book for Valentine’s Day. I put in dating pictures, engagement pictures, e-mails, wedding pictures, and vacation pictures. I had it bound in red leather and it came out pretty good. I’m sure he’s getting sick of those books. We have 4 now. 1 for Maui, 1 for San Fran, 1 for New York, and now 1 Memory Book.

I’m not sure what Chris is doing for me. On Monday he asked me not to look at the checking account website until after Valentine’s Day. Considering I look at it and balance our checkbook once (sometimes twice) a day, this is no small feat for me! That, and I have the patience of a five year old. Telling me the answer is one mouse click away is BEYOND tempting.

But I have been good. No peeking for me.

There are some seriously scary dealings happening in our bathroom. I smashed a spider yesterday morning but forgot to pick his body off the floor and flush him away. I came home and immediately went to pick him up and discovered… he was missing. This can only mean one of three truly terrible things. 1. He has a regenerative Wolverine type body and was able to recover from my heavy blows. 2. He was dead and 15 of his closest friends carried his body off for a funeral. Or 3. A BIGGER spider took him. Out of all the options I would hope for #1. I would hate to walk into the bathroom late at night and stumble across 15 vengeful angry spiders or worse, a huge one with a taste for blood, hungry for my toe. Please, please, please let me find a very injured spider to flush away!

Wordless Wednesday... with words.

Over the weekend John-E, Mike, Casey, Jenn, Jeremy, Chris, and I went to eat dinner at the Barona Casino buffet. Best $16 buffet... ever. After that, we went to see a Johnny Cash cover band called 'Cash'd Out'. They were absolutely fantastic! We came home smelling like smoke... but it was a fun night anyway.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Aha! So that’s a half swing!!...

I finally got to try out my new set of golf clubs this weekend. We were limited to chipping last week and I found myself increasingly frustrated as my golf balls continued to glide/chunk across the ground and not loft as they should – you know, as they would have had I had been doing it correctly.

This week we started practicing our half swing and let me tell you somethin’… I rock at the half swing.

SMACK!! Went my club to the ball, the ball lifting just as it should, and dropping perfectly straight from where I hit it.

After 4 or 5 in a row I heard the teacher yelling, ‘Perfect! Great hit!’ from a distance away. I assumed he was talking to someone else so I just kept right on going. ‘HEY!! PINK HAT!!’ he yelled sounding somewhat annoyed. My head (fitted in a soft pink SDSU hat) snapped up in attention, ‘Great job’ he said, ‘Keep ‘em going just like that!!’

And I did… with a huge grin on my face.

After hitting 15 or so balls I went to grab more and carefully carried them in my arms trying my best not to spill. I cautiously laid them on the ground and a perfectly square pile – logos facing up of course. As I was cleaning my club the instructor walked up to me and said, ‘You have the perfect personality for this sport.’

‘Um thanks?’ I said.

He continued, ‘You want to know how I know?’

‘Sure?’ I answered (yes, there was a question mark after everything I said… I was confused).

‘You have amazing ball handling skills. You are gentle with them. People who are gentle with them show patience. You are a patient person’ He finished.

I wanted to tell him the real reason. I wanted to say, ‘No, I’m simply obsessive compulsive. I like things the way I like them. In fact, I may be the least patient person you’ve met in your lifetime!’…

But I didn’t. I simply said, ‘Thanks’.

I love golf. I LOVE LOVE LOVE golf!

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Why do I always have the urge to pee at the most inappropriate times?!?!

Long one. Ignore if you will.

Chris and I have been taking a History Class together and so far, it hasn’t been the most enjoyable experience. The teacher is interesting but the work load is a bit steep. Last night was the third week of class and we were already due to turn in our SECOND paper.

Of course, Chris did not start the above mentioned paper until 5 PM… our class is at 7 PM. I figured he was running late so the night before I wrote an outline for him to expedite the process. It’s not cheating right? All I wrote was the outline…the conclusion…the supporting evidence…and some of the body. That was totally it. Nothing else.

OK fine! I felt bad! The poor guy has been working unspeakable hours and has even been working weekends. Sunday was his only open day but it was SuperBowl Sunday and we stopped by church to see God. You can’t get mad at a guy for seeing God or appreciating the fine art of football!

While Chris was writing a sentence or two in his paper, I ran off to grab dinner to bring back. I went to McDonalds – it was the closest food place, give me a break! If it makes you feel better I’ll put a bumper sticker on the back of my car that reads ‘Future Fatty’. So anyway, I pulled in line… behind TWO suburbans! Nothing says, ‘Car full of kids with ever changing minds’ like Suburbans. And I was stuck behind TWO!! When I finally made it up to the menu I ordered slowly and clearly. I threw in a ‘thanks so much’ and a ‘perfect, exactly right’ because everyone knows you HAVE to be nice to fast food people, otherwise you get a side order of spit. No thanks.

They still got the order wrong but it seemed otherwise spit free.

We ran to class and surprisingly made it on time.

An hour and a half later, the teacher released us for a short break. Chris and I usually stand around and make fun of the other students. It’s community college, it’s full of ‘interesting’ people! 10 minutes after class resumed, I realized that perhaps I should have used the restroom during the break. That McDonald’s extra large coke wasn’t working out so well with my kid sized bladder. Unfortunately my husband likes to sit in the front row. Also unfortunate, the door is at the back of the class. Even more unfortunate, I picked yesterday to wear an extremely loud pair of heels.

Needless to say, that hour and a half nearly killed me.

Is it summer yet?

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Wordless Wednesday!

I'm missing Maui!!

The TAX man…

Now I have that stupid Beatles song running through my head...

We met with our 'tax advisor' last night. We used one 2 years ago but we were unimpressed and never returned. But… we decided - in light of our current situation - to meet with a professional.

He was very unfriendly - but what else would you expect from a permanent number cruncher who at one time worked for the IRS. His sour demeanor kept me constantly wondering if he was going to contact his buddies at the IRS and have me audited.

I promise… those receipts were for… school! I know it says 'Home Gym' but I had a P.E. class. That totally counts right?!?!

As much as I didn't like the guy, he did a great job. He shaved $1,000 off what we owed. Who knew I would come to appreciate those student loans and their valuable interest.

Then came the boom.

We were fined!

Apparently, the Federal government wants your taxes throughout the year. When your withholdings are set too high (which ours were not - were we just unlucky), they fine you! We were fined, but it's just another thing we have to fight.

I hate the IRS.

In other news, I bought a new set of golf clubs. The class I'm taking provides clubs but they are atrocious! This may come as a surprise, but my clubs are pink. Very cute. Love them.

In case you were wondering… I'm totally going to try to write off the golf clubs next year.

Educational expense!

Monday, February 5, 2007

Could you move the oxygen tank in the Living Room please?

Boy, I've had a horrible week that led to a horrible weekend.

First, I had a blow from the Feds. OK, maybe Fed's is an incorrect word for the IRS but saying the Fed's are after me just sounds better than some IRS guy is after me with glasses and a giant calculator. Makes me sound more... gansta'. Oh, because that's realistic. Pssh.

Second, I smacked myself in the face with the freezer door - HARD. Don't even ASK how I did it. I just did. I was DESPERATE to get the chocolate brownie ice cream. I think I broke my nose.

Third, my car was hit this weekend… twice. A minor skid across the front end and a dashing ding in the door but still… thanks for leaving a note! Do people ever leave notes?!??! I hope they walk around for the rest of their lives with a heavy conscience.

Forth, the house I was looking at sold. Two days after I noted it on my list, it was gone. Housing? Crash? Riiiiiight.

Fifth, the real icing on the cake, I got called for jury duty.

That's about when I started looking for a target on my back.

Don't hang around me right now. I'm bad luck.