WHAT?!?!?!...

So I’m a little obsessive compulsive.

I may scrub our stainless steel kitchen sink with Comet, wipe it out with a towel, and then bleach it. But if I don’t… I get the occasional water spot!

I may plan out vacations a little too much. I may have created color coded Excel spreadsheet with three tabs (one for location, one for time and date of activities plus hours open, one for back up ideas) and the secondary sheet with travel warnings and tips from the U.S. Department of State.

I may have cried because we had to put a desk in our room and now the room looks ‘uneven’.



… OK, so maybe I’m a lot obsessive compulsive.


And our finances are no exception. Just think… if I’m obsessive about the things that don’t matter, I’m WAY worse with things that do matter.


So. You can imagine my surprise yesterday when we received a call I thought we’d never get. A call from…

A COLLECTIONS AGENCY!

‘This message is for Christopher, we have an urgent matter to discuss with you. We’re calling from Blankety Blank Collections, please call us immediately!’

Hoping and praying the call was from some jacked up peddler, I googled the number (I’m not stupid. Solicitors are sneaky turds) and…

It was a bon-a-fide collections company.

I left for school and called Chris in a panic.

‘Honey, you’ve got something in COLLECTIONS! Can you call them the second you get home!!??’

Oh but it didn’t stop there…I kept calling.

*ring*

‘Hon, don’t give them your Social Security Number!’

*ring*

‘Hon, don’t give them your credit card number!’

*ring*

‘Don’t give them ANYTHING! You know what Jesus says, shrewd as… as… something or other!’

*ring*

‘Tell them we want something in writing or an office address!’

*ring*

‘HONNNNNEYYYY! Did you call yet?!?!?’

To which he exasperatedly said, ‘I’m on HOLD!! PLEASE STOP CALLING!’

Meanwhile, I’m breaking out in a cold sweat. I organize paying the bills – not because I’m a kind wife, I just really really like it. Spreadsheets and math? I’m like a kid in a candy store!

So if anyone is to blame when something goes terribly wrong… it’s ME!

I sat in class for the longest 5 hours ever.

As soon as class was over, I fumbled for my phone and frantically called Chris.

‘Honey, what was it? How much is it? Who is the bill from because I SWEAR I pay on time! You didn’t give them any information did you because if you did…’ I started.

Before a dug a hole too deep, Chris told me…

Same name, wrong person, wrong number.




Cheers to collections people. Thanks for making not only people with who can’t pay their bills miserable but also everyone else who shares their names.

Turds.