Lessons from a wino…

I’m really enjoying my wine class. It’s far more difficult than I expected – turns out, we aren’t there just to enjoy a good glass of wine. We actually have to know WHY it’s a good glass and dissect where it comes from based on totally obscure bits of information. But I thought I’d share what I’ve learned so far:

1 – I’m better at blindly identifying what microwave meal my co-workers are cooking than the amount of lychee or anise in a Barolo.

2 – When the people ask you what you smell and all you really want to say is, ‘I smell wine’, fake it.

For whites, say ‘apricots’. For reds, say ‘cherry with a hint of vanilla and spice’. Even if you’re totally wrong, people will think you’re brilliant – or at least my teacher thinks I am.

3 – There are such things as really bad wines. Trust me.

4 – I may actually get participation points for the first time in my life.

In all my years in school, I haven’t spoken unless called upon and I generally get low points in participation. But in this class, toward the fourth wine tasting, I find myself raising my hand… and saying I smell tar and tobacco in the Nebbiolo. Since when?!?!

5 – Saying you’re sorry is worth about 40 points.

I forgot about a test and bombed it. I wrote an answer for every question no matter how wrong I thought it was. For example, I wrote ‘Pig’s Bladder’ as a fining technique and for the question, ‘Why do whites not age as well as reds’ I wrote, ‘because they don’t hold up as well’. Two days later, I wrote a long letter of apology to my teacher saying I had ‘no on to blame but myself’ and ‘I hope this doesn’t reflect poorly on me as I AM here to learn’.

I passed the exam.


I love this class.