Did you just day that out loud?!?!!?

Cooking class has been… interesting. I’m learning more and more each session about my classmates. Unfortunately the program isn’t just a bunch of cooking classes with helpful tips to use at home. It’s a full fledged culinary arts program designed to train students to become professional chefs. Most of the students have the ‘chef mentality’. You know: self absorbed, know-it-all, vain, cocky, mean, etc, etc.


I finally found my element!




Kidding!

The frustrating part is, I’m not there to learn how to cook in some muffy buffy La Jolla restaurant. I’m just there to learn how to bake chicken so Chris won’t have to cut it into tiny pieces to swallow whole since chewing the dry crusted rock I usually make isn’t an option.

I know I can’t cook very well. That’s why I’m there. A good portion of my classmates on the other hand raised their hands during the ‘getting to know you’ portion of the class and proudly declared they had been cooking for 18 or more years. These people are 21!! Will someone please tell them that mixing flour and water for a paper mache project in preschool doesn’t count?


I was blanching (see! I use big words now!) broccoli for the required 2 minutes when a fellow classmate tapped his shoe and crossed his arms while staring me down. He needed to clean the pot I was using. I smiled and apologized for taking so long (not sure why I apologized, I was 10 minutes ahead of schedule). He grunted and said, ‘You guys are the slowest team. So slow.’

I desperately wanted to say, ‘How can you speed up 2 minutes? Do you think I’m Cyclops from X-Men and can use my laser to cook faster?!?! By the way, you have a huge booger hanging half out of your nose!’ then kick him in the kneecaps BUT…

1 – He probably thinks Cyclops IS real.
2 – NOT telling people they have boogers hanging out is meaner than telling them.
3 – He probably would have kicked me back.


I’m slowly figuring out why chefs wear those big hats… it’s to cover their HUGE heads.