Chris and I decided to go on a romantic nature walk early in the morning. As we slowly strolled down the path hand in hand I felt my long hair skim my shoulders and chest. I flicked away the stray strands but the persistent itchy ‘hair’ feeling stayed with me. Annoyed, I looked down to pull the stray strand of ‘hair’ off my chest only to see a big, black, hairy spider creep down the front of my tank top.
I screamed. And not a cute ‘I’m such a girl’ scream - it was a loud ‘I just ran into the murderer from America’s Most Wanted and there’s nothing between me and him but a bloody chainsaw’ scream.
I yanked down the front of my shirt – not caring in the least if anyone saw - and turned to Chris while screaming, ‘SPIDER, SPIDER, SPIDER!!!!’
Let’s make something clear here. I was wearing a WHITE shirt, my bra was WHITE, and my skin is practically translucent it’s so WHITE, so seeing a nasty BLACK spider should be easy.
Instead, my ‘loving’, ‘caring’ husband just stood and stared with a lopsided grin on his face.
I ran backwards (as if the spider would fall off or something), leaned backward, leaned forward, shook my arms, and even blew on it but the stupid thing was hell bent and biting me – and it’s not like my ‘dear’ husband was helping.
I finally mustered all my bravery and flicked the stupid thing until it fell off.
Meanwhile, Chris was still standing… staring.
When I started to yell at him for not helping he said, ‘I couldn’t see it!’
But the grin he was trying to hide said everything.
Thank you sweetheart. One day, I hope to return the favor.
For the next two days, we went from winery to winery to winery on tour buses and cars. So really, it wasn’t a surprise when Chris – at winery number five of the day – said, ‘Forget Hawaii, Napa is our new tradition’.
And so it is.
Stupid spiders and all.
I screamed. And not a cute ‘I’m such a girl’ scream - it was a loud ‘I just ran into the murderer from America’s Most Wanted and there’s nothing between me and him but a bloody chainsaw’ scream.
I yanked down the front of my shirt – not caring in the least if anyone saw - and turned to Chris while screaming, ‘SPIDER, SPIDER, SPIDER!!!!’
Let’s make something clear here. I was wearing a WHITE shirt, my bra was WHITE, and my skin is practically translucent it’s so WHITE, so seeing a nasty BLACK spider should be easy.
Instead, my ‘loving’, ‘caring’ husband just stood and stared with a lopsided grin on his face.
I ran backwards (as if the spider would fall off or something), leaned backward, leaned forward, shook my arms, and even blew on it but the stupid thing was hell bent and biting me – and it’s not like my ‘dear’ husband was helping.
I finally mustered all my bravery and flicked the stupid thing until it fell off.
Meanwhile, Chris was still standing… staring.
When I started to yell at him for not helping he said, ‘I couldn’t see it!’
But the grin he was trying to hide said everything.
Thank you sweetheart. One day, I hope to return the favor.
For the next two days, we went from winery to winery to winery on tour buses and cars. So really, it wasn’t a surprise when Chris – at winery number five of the day – said, ‘Forget Hawaii, Napa is our new tradition’.
And so it is.
Stupid spiders and all.
Our AMAZING B & B - soooo much better than the crappy hotel!
6 comments:
Sounds yummy, well, except for the spider!
Is that wine glasses I see in your hands? So how much did you drink? Hmmmmmmm? Did you say 5 glasses? "Father forgive them." I can't even say, "because they know not what they do." because you do!!!! and enjoy it to boot. What is a mother to do?
(I AM glad that you had so much fun!! Did you bring me back a souvenir?)
Love, mom
Cheap alcohol and beautiful scenery, who wouldn't love it?! I'm glad Christopher can find delight in your panic:)
In my defense it was really bright outside and you where moving around to much for me to focus in on it. And mom it was about 5 glasses per winery; which totals up to.... 25 glasses not, including what we had at lunch and after 12:00pm I quite counting.
ha ha ;)
Christopher, you're such a major dork!!!!!!!! I think you find ultimate satisfaction in alarming me with your little confessions. I DON'T want to know. Grrrrrrrrrr
Love always, mom
By the way, neither one of you have commented in regards to a souvenir. What's up with that? After all I DID take care of those oversized rats of yours.
Love always, mom
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