Tuesday, November 27, 2007

No seriously... I don't like him...

I was editing a film for school on Sunday when I was interrupted by a loud banging at my front door. I opened it and was greeted by my very disheveled neighbor who was furiously upset and notified me that my dog had been in and out of her yard for the last four days. She followed that with a 20 minute lecture on ‘responsible dog ownership’.

I was tempted to interrupt and say, ‘Perhaps this is information you should have shared FOUR DAYS AGO’ but instead repeated in my head my ever present mantra… ‘I will not fight with the neighbors, I will not fight with the neighbors, I will not fight with the neighbors’. I started the mantra when the grouchy old lady across the street told me not to let my friends – even on rare occasions - park on ‘her’ side of the street – umm, silly me, I thought it was a public street.

Anyway…

I maintained my cool, apologized for my wayward dog, and promised to solve the problem then threw in a fake smile for good measure. She gave a glare, then trolled back to her house.

Unfortunately, I’m beginning to wonder if Chris was correct in his assertion that my dogs are simply ‘glorified rats’. As my dog escaped back into my yard from a hole the size of a ping pong ball, I wondered if I should check him for collapsible ribs.

I decided to go high tech … and stacked a couple heavy rocks in front of the offending hole then patted myself on the back for being so smart.

Unfortunately, I’m soooo not.

My dog made another hole and escaped yet again after I left for work. The difference was, my brother was left to deal with our neighbor and their exchange was more along the lines of…

BANG BANG BANG

Mike answers the door with a smile - teeth gleaming like the White House crystal chandelier.

Neighbor: Hi. Umm. *Giggle* Your dog somehow got into my backyard *Giggle*

Mike: Oh gee, I’m really sorry. It’s actually my sister’s dog.

Neighbor: It’s no big deal *Giggle* Just thought I’d let you know. *Giggle* *Hair flip*

Mike: Great thanks. I’ll let her know.

Neighbor gives one of those stupid ‘girly baby' waves and saunters back to her house... still giggling like a school girl.


I’m going to ghost write a book for Mike and title it:

‘The terrifically difficult life of a young firefighter: It’s not my fault everyone thinks I’m really ridiculously good looking and showers me with love, affection, and the occassional gift’

5 comments:

Lisa C Magnus said...

Well now you know who to send to the door from now on for any of the ladies in the neighborhood. You'll probably be the toast of the neighborhood now amongst those desperate housewives.:)

sewcreative said...

How disgusting!! The neighbor probably dug the hole herself once she saw the good looking guys that live right next door. Her irritation came when YOU answered the door the first time. For crying out loud Becks, always let the guys answer the door when it is a female neighbor, and you answer when it is a guy neighbor. Everybody knows that!

Love always, mom

Nicole said...

Aaah! You now see that the cattiness of women runs thick. How quickly it unravels in the presence of a handsome young man! It's a good thing I just cut his hair, otherwise it may not have worked:)

Lizzie M. said...

That just cracks me up, really, I'm just cracking up!

Ashmystir said...

Love your blog. I am married...without children too and quite happy about it...so far. =) Check out my blog at www.mytrivialramblings.blogspot.com sometime.

Take care...