Driiiiiillllll…

I had been putting off my dental check-up because I KNEW it was going to be pricey. I have three teeth that ACHE every time I run (oh who am I kidding. I don't run. Every time I walk fast).

Over the last three years, I've spent in the neighborhood of $3,000 on dental work.

I feel like the door bell doesn't chime when I enter the Dentist Office; it makes a loud 'CHA CHING!' sound.

My dentist is so kind and he always smiles really big when I walk in. At first I thought it was good customer service, and then I realized he loved me because I was financing his children's private education.

Today, I could have sworn that I heard him go to the back, pull out his cell phone, and whisper 'Darling, you know how I said we couldn't vacation this year? Well call the travel agent we're going to the BAHAMAS!! Heck, invite your mother!!'

Poor Chris had no idea when he married me, he was marrying a woman with the tooth density of a marshmallow and not the super tough 10 year old marshmallows you find in the back of your pantry under the bag of potatoes - we're talking Easter fresh Peep marshmallow density.

My dentist cleaned my teeth and tinkered around with his tiny mirror and pick. He clinked around punctuating his scratches with 'Hmm's'

'Well sweetie' - He always calls me sweetie, not sure why but it's sort of comforting - 'It's getting close to punch and everyone will be weaving. We don't have dime today but we're going to have to do a toot canal OK?'

Perhaps he should have removed his mask before speaking.

I'm bummed. I like it better when they treat me like an emergency patient and wheel me into the operating room.

Now I have a whole weekend to be miserable and think about the upcoming pain fest.

Boo.

Goodbye $800.