Wednesday, February 6, 2008

California Dental Massacre…

Two entries in one day? Silliness I know, but I've got to distract myself from the pain...

I had to go to the dentist again today. She was replacing my temporary crowns with the permanent ones.

I’ve been through this a time or two…

Or five…

So I know the drill. They pop out the temp, pick off the glue, and cement down the permanent crown.

Not. A. Big. Deal.

Except this time. Apparently, my gums were inflamed and she couldn’t put a permanent crown on inflamed gums so the solution was – drill the gums down.

She called in her assistants to prepare the torture chamber – I mean – the dental appliances and started to burn time with small talk. NORMAL people consider small talk: job questions, weather patterns, family life, etc. But nooooo, my dentist starts talking about politics.

She goes on and on and on about Clinton and Obama as she starts to drill. Then, she stops drilling and looks at me seriously. ‘You are going to vote for Obama right?’ she asked.

Yeah. Right. Like I’m going to claim to be anything but a staunch democrat while you’re wielding a deadly weapon.

‘Go Obama!’ I said with a smile and a thumbs up.

I guess that’s why I don’t work for the CIA. I’d sell out the federal government to avoid an unnecessary root canal.

The dentist started in and everywhere around me looked like a scene from Braveheart. She even stopped the drilling and yelled at the assistant, ‘Go get me the…’ she started snapping in the air trying to jog her memory, ‘Get me the medication that stops the bleeding. And hurry please.’

I popped open my eyes and stared at her in complete fear. ‘Um. Excuse me? Was that supposed to make me feel better?’ is what I would have said had she not jammed a handful of gauze in my mouth.

The assistant rushed back in and filled my mouth with the most painful nasty tasting stuff ever. I’ve smelled lawn fertilizers and weed killer products that would taste better. And it burned! I felt like my mouth was on fire!

After what seemed like an eternity, she finished the crowns. She let me go rinse my mouth and…is this blood on my arm?!?! Actual DROPS of blood on my arm!?!?


I’m just glad I didn’t tell her I was a Republican.

That could have been lethal.

Oh, and here’s an article for Colegate and Lizard:

You ladies know how I feel about that.


Lisa C Magnus said...

You know Bek's you don't seem to have very good luck with dentists. That just doesn't seem right. You poor thing. You know most dentists use a cauderizing lazer when they are trying to remove tissue so you don't have a bleeding problem. I would make sure your next dentist has one just in case. I am praying for a quick recovery for you:)

Anonymous said...

OMG! Your dentist freaks me out! I don't even like to go for cleanings but go anyway to prevent bigger problems down the road. I've been lucky to have good dental health. Look Ma, no cavities!! =)

sewcreative said...

No way, no how that I'm going go to that dentist. I'll just continue to suffer. And you think that I would go to one who wanted me to vote for Obama? NO THANK YOU!! What is wrong with people? I'm sorry but President Barach Husien Obama does not fit any picture in my head or heart for the next president....let alone where he stands on the issues that I hold most dear. When will people wake up from their slumber and get a clue as well as get informed???
I need to and get a prescription for prozac.

Love always, mom

Lizzie M. said...

I honestly didn't know they could "drill" your deepest sympathy.

Thanks for article, Ashlynn has become quite the little picker. TMI??

Nicole said...

Gee I'm glad I brush and floss twice a day. Of course, it all started because said it would shave years off my age:)~ So would it be a problem if say, an adult was still doing those "gross" things;) By the way Liz, she gets it from her mommy!!!

mike a said...

Maybe this is why she has a criminal record...