Hello? HSN?...

For the last few months, I’ve been attempting to eat somewhat healthy. I figure, as I’m inching toward 30, I’d better start preparing this aging body by caring – at least a little – for it. That, and eventually, I’d like to have children and I’d rather they not pop out with an addiction to the convenience of 7-11 processed foods and beverages.

* Though I do wonder, if I polished off a Razzmatazz Lime Slurpee while in labor, would I have a kid with a green umbilical cord? Because that’d be cool and it’s worth trying. *

Poor Taco Bell has suffered a considerable slump in sales since I backed off those cheddar potatoes.


Anyway…

Things have been going great, except for this silly culinary program I’m in. Recently, we made buttermilk cheddar cheese and chive biscuits accompanied by bacon gravy (as if the buttermilk or the cheddar part of the biscuit wasn’t bad enough, we opted for an ultra flaky texture only created by mass amounts of butter) and we finished the class with a citrus chiffon cake layered and topped with sugared whipping cream. Last night we made pizzas – loaded with toppings of course.

Just thinking about the fat content of those recipes makes my butt bigger.

Unfortunately I’m left with 2 options to keep this figure looking good:

1) Eat less of this fantastic food I’m learning to make

or

2) Work out more


* And by ‘more’ I mean more than the 14 steps I take from the house to my car that I currently consider ‘working out’.


As I sit here nibbling on the most amazing left over pizza and a warm buttered roll, I can’t help but add option C…



3.) Purchase industrial strength body slimmers from the Home Shopping Network.




No worries. I have them on speed dial.