OK, so I’m not drinking coffee. I’m drinking ‘All Natural’ Zip Fizz. Containing 41,667% of your daily allowance of B12, it’s about as ‘natural’ as a face lift or an artificial leg.
It’s supposed to be mixed with 20 ounces of water. I mix it with two ounces and take it like a shot. I can imagine this is what Listerine tastes like if I were to drink it.
It doesn’t energize me… it simply brings me to ‘functional’. The stuff barely counteracts last night’s sleeping pills.
Oh, did I forget to mention those? I haven’t slept in 4 days. I wake up thinking, ‘Should I re-do the budget?’, ‘Did I call GMAC?’, ‘Did we offer too much?’, ‘Did we offer too little?’, and most important, ‘When is Sanjaya going to be booted from American Idol because really, I’m losing faith in the American public’.
I took three pills last night and snuggled in bed looking for a deep slumber. 1 AM, 2AM, and 3AM all came and went as I fretted sleeplessly. The pills eventually kicked in… shortly after my alarm clock chimed. The clock started to laugh at me so I smashed it with my boot. Perhaps it was a bit harsh but I swear on everything holy it was saying ‘Neener Neener Neener!! Ha Ha you have to get up!!’ instead of ‘Beep Beep Beep’ like it was supposed to.
I’m in a walking sleep state. The Zip Fizz keeps my tongue from sticking to the side of my mouth. I sound slightly less like a severe stroke victim but slightly more like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman.
The past couple of days have been an insane roller coaster ride.
Chris has been handling it well. He stays just out of arms reach so he doesn’t get hurt and if I ‘happen’ to throw something he can duck. I haven’t thrown anything… that hit him anyway. Darn those reflexes huh?
Yesterday AOL had a poll with the question, ‘Who will you vote for in the next presidential election?’ with the choices, ‘Republicans’, ‘Democrats’ and the one I triple Rainman clicked on, ‘Don’t know, Don’t care’.
Something is wrong with this picture people, something is s-s-s-s-seriously wrong.
It would take too long to write what’s happening but the short of it is - we still don’t have any answers.
Sing with me now, ‘Does that make me craaaaaazy? Does that make me craaaaazy?’
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2 comments:
Gee, I wish I could have as much fun as you, but alas, I decline:)
You want to feel sleepy at night? Pop out a kid or two and you'll crash the minute your head hits the pillow at night!
Don't know what to tell you to do with the little buggars, but they will make you tired, I promise :-)!
Ok, maybe that's a bad idea, try praying. It always puts me right to sleep, sorry God.
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