Congrats Bro...

A Fireman's Prayer
When I am called to duty, God,
Whenever flames may rage;
Give me strength to save a life,
Whatever be its age.
Help me embrace a little child
Before it is too late
Or save an older person
From the horror of that fate.
Enable me to be alert
And hear the weakest shout,
And quickly and efficiently
To put the fire out.
I want to fill my calling
And to give the best in me
To guard my every neighbor
And protect his property.
And if according to Your will,
I have to lose my life,
Please bless with Your protecting hand,
My children and my wife.
- Author Unknown

Congrats to Johnny Boy for passing academy. How awesome is that?!?! Here are some photo's from a super proud sis. And yeah, I photoshopped out the department written on the rig. If you know Johnny, you know where he works. If you don't know him... well, you don't need to know that info.

Getting sworn in

Receiving his badge

Pinning the badge

Family photo ops

My two firefighting bros

John and Lindsey!

Happy birthday dude!! Nice cake Lindsey... ; )

Just a little to the left, no wait, a little to the right…

Grinch. It’s our theme this year.

Nope. We’re not putting a giant grinch on our front ‘lawn’ – and by ‘lawn’ I mean dirt with dead leaves – and the who’s of who-ville won’t be scattered around.

When I say grinch, I mean no decorations at all.

And trust me, we stick out like a sore thumb. Our neighborhood is like Candy Cane Lane on crack. One of our neighbors decorated their green house in all green lights. It looks like the Jolly Green Giant puked after a Saint Patty’s Day Party.

It’s not that we don’t like decorations, and it’s not that we don’t have them (I bought a TON in an after Christmas sale early this year in anticipation of having a house at Christmas). We simply have not had the time.

We finally caved to peer pressure and decided to hang a string of lights this weekend. Unfortunately we only have a 4 foot ladder… which is fine… if your roof isn’t taller than 8 feet and you don’t have a peaked garage… which we have.

So Chris put up lights where he could then stood outside with his hands on his hips staring at the house.


‘Hey Hon, I think I can reach the top portion if I pull my truck parallel across the driveway and put the ladder in the back. THEN, I could stand on the top of the truck and toss the lights onto the roof. Oh and I have a great idea for our pre-lit Reindeer. I’d like to hang him upside-down from the front tree. You know, like he fell off Santa’s sleigh and died in our tree’


Put a Budweiser in his hand and I’m pretty sure you’d have the beginnings of a redneck joke.


Ever working on being a good wife, I smiled and said, ‘Sure Hon.’

My teeth may have been clinched but I said yes so that counts!


I’m going to have to apologize to a lot of little kids this year.

So it’s a little cold. Get over it…

It’s really beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. I woke up yesterday morning to a ‘balmy’ 56 degrees. Can you get frostbite at 56 degrees? It sure feels like it.

Now before my lovely family in the Mid-West and North-East chew me out and start insulting Californians, let me clarify.

It was 56 degrees INSIDE MY HOUSE.

It would seem that during the ‘Great Wars’ - which occurred shortly before our house was built - they rationed food, rubber, metal, fabric, … and insulation for houses.

We have a brand new furnace but my husband married a miser so…

He freezes.

I just don’t see the point of paying to heat a house when we have free blankets.



But there are some good things…

I can guiltlessly skip going to the gym because I burn more calories at home… shivering.

If I take food out of the fridge and set it on the counter… it gets colder.

and

I scribbled the wine refrigerator off my Christmas list… and replaced it with a wine defroster.

Stop it! I will not give this to you!!

OK, so my iPod/Craiglist experience turned out not so great.

I posted the ad with a selling price I thought was fair. A woman e-mailed me 20 minutes after the ad was placed, agreed to buy it, and decided on a location to meet. The sheer excitement in her voice along with the ‘It works right? It does? Is there a reason you are selling it at such a low price? Is it damaged?

Yes.
Yes.
That’s a low price?
No.

Over the next few hours, more e-mails followed like:

‘I’ll take it! I have cash! I’ll meet you anywhere!’

‘Is this still available? Is there something wrong with it??!?!’

‘Please let me buy it!!’

And my personal favorite:

‘I am really interested your pink nano ipod. I was wondering if you are willing to go as low $5 or $10 dollars just because I am really tight on money.’


I’m not going to say how much I sold it for – because obviously I sold it for too little based on the overwhelming response – but it wasn’t ANYWHERE in the neighborhood of ten bucks. Heck, it wasn’t in the neighborhood of fifty bucks!

And she wasn’t the only one! Another woman asked if I would give it to her ‘out of the goodness of my heart’!

… goodness of my heart…

Now that’s just funny.



Not to sound harsh but…

Ladies, if you’re tight on money, perhaps a Nano is the last thing you should be surfing for on Craigslist. Last time I checked, the necessities in life are: Food, Clothing, Housing, & Gray’s Anatomy – in no particular order of course.

I am selling this item because I NEED the money. If I didn’t NEED the money, I’d give it to a family member. If you are interested in a Socialistic society where we all have the same things, there are a few European countries you might like and Canada is ever willing to pay your healthcare.

I didn’t write that to either of them – as much as I wanted to. I held my tongue and replied, ‘The iPod was sold – at full price.’


When I told Chris that I thought I might have undersold my iPod, he nodded his head in shame. That’s the estimator in him. Shoot high and negotiate downward.

I mean really, how do you think he ended up with me?

Oh shut up Cole! It was on the ‘shooting high’ part!!
Grandma’s got my back!




Oh well. I met with the lady who bought it last night. She’s a firefighter’s wife and she was buying it for her daughter as a Christmas gift.

Firefighters = Appreciated but horrifically underpaid.

She couldn’t stop telling me how perfect it was. I think she said thank you 100 times.

And I have no regrets on how much I sold it for. It went to the perfect person.


Maybe I do have goodness in my heart. It will cost you, but it’s there.

But I neeeeeeed it!

I hate Apple.

The company, not the fruit.

Actually, come to think of it, the fruit isn’t so great either. Anyway…

I’ve had my hot pink Nano MP3 player for a year now and I’ve been happy with it. Happy until they came out with the new one that comes with games and plays videos. Suddenly mine’s not so cool.

I’ve been ‘casually’ hinting to Chris that I’d like the new Nano for Christmas. ‘Casually’ for me of course means, ‘Hey hon, buy me the new Nano for Christmas please.’

His response is always, ‘I’m not buying you one. You’ve got a Nano that works perfectly fine!’

This from the man who won’t wear his San Diego Charger - Tomlinson jersey anymore because it’s from last season.

For most, when your man says that, it secretly means he’ll buy it for you. Um, not so much with Chris.

So, a hearty thanks to the San Diego Reader for publishing two of my BLOGs, the lady from Craigslist for buying my old Nano, and Jesus for my job because…

I’m buying the new Nano for myself.

By the way Chris, I’m returning that Castillo jersey I bought you for your birthday.

And James…

I have a fabulous picture of Mike holding Keira while she’s reaching in earnest toward a gi-normous bottle of Sapporo but I have a feeling if I posted it, mom would lament over the ‘tackiness’ of babies and alcohol.

Dogs? No, I don’t have any, why do you ask?

In an attempt to ‘be a responsible dog owner’, I purchased a $90 rod iron fence to cover the little holes the dogs were digging to ‘visit’ the neighbors.

Three days later, after letting her anger stew a while, the neighbor came over to yell at me again about the dogs. Mike wasn’t home so I couldn’t shove him in front of her and tell him to take his shirt off and smile to calm her down.

Apparently my dogs were able to wiggle through the bars and get into her yard. The bars are 2 ½” apart. My dogs are 5” wide. Either a.) They’ve got hops – enough to leap over a 4 foot fence or b.) They’ve been breaking into the house, stealing the Pam Cooking Spray from under the stove, greasing the fence, and shoving themselves through.

UGH!!!

I went immediately down to Lowe’s and plopped another $50 on more fencing.

Then…

Casey came over to visit yesterday and let’s just put it this way…

Casey has dogs, I have dogs. My dogs smell Casey’s dogs on her purse. My dogs ‘mark their territory’.

And no, it can’t possibly be a $20 purse from Target – it had to be a brand spankin’ new Coach Purse.

So it’s no exaggeration to say that yesterday wasn’t the best day for a ‘pet friendly’ realtor to drop off her card, a note pad with pictures of her and her dogs on it, and a sticker for my front door that says:

‘Dear firefighters and police officers, in case of a fire we have animals in this house. Their names are __­­­­­__________’


I took a fat felt tip marker and scribbled, ‘Nope, we’re good. Please save the little girls next door. Thanks!’



Then, to make things worse, I took the purse to the cleaners this morning. Nothing says ‘ROB ME BLIND’ like a beautiful Coach Purse. I explained to the lady that my dog had… relieved himself… on the purse and I had washed the bag but it needed a professional cleaning.

She spent 5 minutes looking me up and down then said, ‘This needs to be sent out. Very expensive.’

‘Umm. Can you spot clean just this part?’ I begged.

‘No, I can only clean the whole purse’ she said.

‘But they didn’t touch the whole thing just this…’ I tried

‘No. Whole thing.’ She snapped.

‘But…’ I started again.

‘No!’ She said in finality. ‘And this will take a week.’

‘Wait! A week!?!? But I don’t have a week!’ I pleaded.

‘Let me make a call.’ She picked up the phone and started speaking in a foreign language. I’m guessing she said, ‘Yeah, I’ve got this lady here holding a very expensive Coach Purse and I’m trying to figure out how we can get as much money as possible from her. Oh, and she literally has ‘sucker’ written across her forehead.’

She hung up, ‘I can get it done tomorrow but that will cost you extra.’

I didn’t know what else to do so I left the purse in the hands of the crazy cleaning lady. As if she hadn’t raked me over the coals enough she called me back to sign a waiver.

‘Just in case anything goes wrong’ she said with a smile.

Thanks…

Excuse me… published author coming through…

For those of you who didn’t hear the screams of glee, my BLOG has been published in the San Diego Reader. You can view the online version at: http://www.sdreader.com/published/current/blogdiego.html
Feel free to say something nice (IE. something totally untrue) about me in the comments section then run to your local 7-11 to get a paper copy before Thursday.

I’ve been published before… lots of times. But I’m not technically sure the Cuyamaca Community College paper, the ‘Coyote Express’ counts – especially when the paper is produced by students and if you don’t have something published, you get a really crummy grade.

That… and they didn’t pay either.

So, in clarification, this is the first time someone paid me for my writings.

…and I think it’s pretty cool.